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Being Christian in dealing with conflict

September 12, 2008

One subject I run across in Christian circles (including church staff) is the idea that we as Christians have to dance around topics that may be hard to deal with. Where exactly does this idea come from? Now, let me go ahead and clear the air before getting into this subject by saying I am one who tries to avoid direct confrontation/coaching whenever possible, however, there are times when “dancing” just isn’t going to get through.

I remember speaking to a pastor about a premarital counseling program recently and he mentioned one major source of spiritual heartburn were those cases where the couple just really should not get married. This minister told me about a recent situation. He, having a strong gut feeling that after doing some pre-marriage counseling, felt, “This couple is not ready for or compatible enough for marriage.” He also mentioned how his spiritual gut was writhing over this union. How did he handle it? He married them rather than deal head on with the potential confrontation or difficult situation. I guess I am just wired a bit differently in that my fear for God would be a bit stronger if not a lot stronger than my fear of confrontation.

So just where do we get this idea of “humility and peace only?” It cannot be from Jesus’ example since he went head to head with some of the strongest religious scholars of the day and held nothing back. Paul definitely did not confronting Peter on his wavering on the subject of preaching to the Gentiles in the book of Acts. In fact, both referenced provide a great measure for dealing with confrontation or tough subjects. Both Paul and Jesus always started their … arguments with one thing. A question.

More on this topic in the next blog. If you have comments or situations you would like to offer up, please comment back so we can discuss.

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About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. He currently works for SourcePointe, an HR Outsourcing Agency while continuing to own and operate Christian Management Consulting as a ministry. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

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