I am not claiming to know the divine answer to that question, but if I were allowed to be a bit creative and take a stab at it, I would have to say that we are a lot like wood.  Some of us like extremely warm climates, others can bear through the cold, some of us have to be chiseled, while others tend to bend when they need to.  All in all, we are a lot like the wood commonly used to build anything from a house to a boat.  Pretty interesting when you stop to think about it.

One of my fascinations has always been the large wooden colonial ships.  The engineering that went into it and the commerce that was opened as a result of these long distance carriers is amazing.  I often wondered how the wood on the ship lasted as long as it did.  When doing some research on this ADD thought, I discovered that the bottom of the boat that stayed under water was usually in great shape, primarily because it stayed underwater.  The part above the water stayed in pretty good shape because it was, well above the water.  The part of the boat which suffered was the area between.

Think of a ship’s hull and separate it into three parts.  You would have the top part (above the water), the bottom part (below the water), and the middle.  The middle portion would be the part of the boat that would sometimes be under the water and sometimes be above.  This could be the result of waves, tide changes, weight of the ship, etc.  This constant exposure to the two different environments often caused splitting of the wood.   It is thought the phrase “bottom out” came from the deterioration of this section of the boat.  Of course, God began working on my with this concept.

If you stop to think about it, the parable of the seeds talks about the different types of soil of our hearts.  Similarly, we can use the above reference to describe the types of believers there are in the world, using a very broad stroke of the brush.

The Top (Above Water)

These could be characterized as the doers, the ones who are seen throughout the church living on mission.  They enjoy their activities, but truthfully, there is not a lot of depth to them.  They can give you the great Christian cliches like, “God will never bring you to it unless he can bring you through it.” Or, “we are saved by grace.” Or better, “I’m blessed, thanks for asking.”  Now, all of these are true statements, but you know the type I’m talking about.  There’s no depth!  They like their masks and their activities, but at the end of the day, they’re just not getting it.

The Bottom (Below Water)

Have you ever met a believer that was so in tune with God’s word they simply just wowed everyone they spoke with.  I’m not talking about those who can quote the entire book of Romans from memory, but rather, those who seek and find God in every little circumstance in life.  The more you get to know them, the peace and understanding they have is a direct result of the amount of time they spend in the throne room of God, face down.

I once knew a guy like this.  He was younger than me but man he showed me up.  He was forever in the Word or just being still before God.  It was more like a habit for him versus a scheduled appointment.  Anyway, he had some of the most profound one liners that you could tell you had just been smacked by the Holy Spirit.

One example was a time when he and I were running late for a meeting.  We had to go up two flights of stairs and I had decided I was going to take two at a time to his one right after the other approach.  I got to the top before he did and through my panting told him to hurry up.  He told me,

“You know, sometimes God wants us to just take one step at a time and trust him, rather than rushing to get to the top.  If you think about it, we both got to the top, but your short cut would up hurting you in the end.”

With that he just walked away!  Yeah, I’m sitting there completely floored by such a statement, and he thinks nothing of it.  What was the best part about his statement was that it was an answer to a question I had asked God in prayer the night before.  This guy was so entrenched with the Word and walking so closely with God, he was used daily without even knowing it.  Now that’s a deep hull!

Where it Cracks

The part of the ship where it cracks is a result of going in and out of two different environments is a lot like those of us who tend to bounce between the two worlds.  One minute they’re completely immersed in God’s word, walking closely with him and the next minute they’re just doing church.  There are numerous verses referring to the dangerous effects of swaying back and forth.

Ephesians 4:14 “so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.”

If you find yourself in this predicament, be careful of the warnings from Scripture.  Dig deeper into God’s word and surround yourself more with people who are deep versus those who just like to seem like they are.  The truth is, the bible is clear about its sanctifying nature and it will expose the cracks in your life.  It is not to be seen as a negative thing because God tells us He desires us to be in close union with him.

So, chances are if you’re reading this you consider yourself to be a Christian, the question is which part of the boat are you on?

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About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

The author opens the discussion of being a follower and what it means.  The book is divided into three sections, characterized by four Latin words: Vece (the place), Via (the way), Verita (the truth), and Vita (the life).  Most chapters have interactive discussion questions which allows the reader to further delve into the subjects.  It is a great book to do in any men’s group.  Today, there needs to be more focus on discipleship and this book highlights that need.

I will say, be sure to read the prologue and don’t skip it as most do.  Overall, it was a decent read, although there were parts that could be a bit of a struggle to get through.  Bottom line, the core theme is one that needs to continue to be emphasized and studied in our modern churches.
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About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

Some of the best movies always have some aspect of the plot centered around the father-son/daughter theme.  Think about it, here are some examples: Star Wars, Tron Legacy, Green Lantern, Lion King, and many more.  All of these have a deep rooted character who is seeking either a relationship with their father, trying to find their father, trying to impress their father and the list could go on.  This just highlights one simple, basic principle: a father’s influence over their child is critical, needed, and desired by children, no matter their age.

I believe one of the most important thoughts that should be on the forefront of any father’s mind should be their relationship with Christ, followed quickly by the legacy he will leave with his children.  If you take a minute to think back, chances are, you will find yourself doing things your father did.  I know I will often find myself saying something to one of my kids and thinking inside, “I sound just like my father.”  It’s not always a bad thing, but there are some things, as Christian men, we need to break.

It struck me while listening to a sermon on  Jacob and Isaac that the “sins of the father” has a definite theme based in Genesis.  Many of us will look at the deceiving of Isaac by Jacob with disdain, but where would a child learn something like that?  If you go back to the previous chapters in Genesis, you will see the practice of lying has deeper roots.  His father and grandfather both had lied to Abimelech.  Sure, these were great men of God and even they had their moments of weakness, not trusting God wholly that he would protect their family.  Jacob was simply following in the generational footsteps.  Jacob continued this tradition, leaning more on his own strength and understanding than that of God.  If you continue to read through Jacob’s story, you will find the deceit continuing when his sons sell their brother into slavery.  When will the cycle stop?

Joseph was cut from a different fabric.  Time and time again throughout his life, he was given the opportunity to be deceitful, self-reliant, but he fled from them and clung to God.  In one instance, he fled so quickly he fled naked from a sin he could have easily given in to.  Through his continued focus on God, Joseph was able to be saved from many situations, and was even used to save his family.  This is what God can do with simple obedience, he can break the sinful patterns of our fathers.

What is it in your life that you are passing on to your son or daughter?  This is a critical questions that if you have not already taken some time to think about, you MUST.  Do you have an anger issue?  If so, you can pretty well bet your child will struggle with the same.  Do you often lie to win people’s affection or affirmation?  If so, you will pass this curse on to your children.  This can only be done by submitting to Christ and letting him mold you to the father he needs you to be, no only for your sake, but also for that of generations to follow you.

Joseph’s obedience was used to break the generational cycle and saved a nation.  Take a moment to think about all of the issues we face as fathers and the issues our children will face in their times.  Just think of how willing God is to transform our families and our nation.  You never know what your obedience to him may spark in your family and ultimately, many generations down the road, in our nation.  Pray, focus, and submit.  Your children are dependent upon that!
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About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

In this post we are going to look at some critical characteristics of a christian men’s accountability group.

Trait 1: Confidentiality

This is one of the most critical aspects of the group’s character.  If you do not have a group of men who respect confidentiality, you will never move past having the traditional, superficial groups where men continue to wear their masks.  It is crucial to a group’s survival and essence that men are able to take off the masks and be open, honest, and real with the other men in the group.  Some of the burdens we carry can be not only overwhelming but embarrassing.  In the early church, members would openly confess their sin and ask for not only prayers, but accountability.  With this in mind, look back at what happened to the early church: EXPLOSION.  Bearing your soul to other men allows you not only to release the burden, but also allows you to ask for accountability.  You cannot have this without true adherence to confidentiality.

Trait #2:- Confirmation

When one of the members of any sort of group shares something from their soul, they need confirmation.  I don’t care how uncomfortable or awkward it is, the worst that could happen for this individual is to hear crickets in the audience.  You don’t have to be able relate or empathize with him, simply confirm he said something for starters.  I have been part of groups where I have shared something to the welcoming sound of crickets in the room and I can tell you, it took me a while before I shared anything else.  This scar not only affected the group I was in, but other groups I participated in going forward.  This does not spark growth.  Confirmation of someone taking the leap to throw themselves out there is key for continued growth within the accountability group.

Trait #3- Consistency

If you decide to join one of the accountability groups in your church or area, be sure it is one which meets consistently and frequently.  Remember, the lion goes after the ones not close to the herd.  As a pack, we have to stick closely to our fellow warriors and can only do this if the group we are involved in meets consistently.  Sure, there will be times around holidays when meeting can be almost impossible, but don’t forget most everyone has a phone or email.  Sending a text message of encouragement can be all someone needs to get through the mini battle they are facing at the moment.  In addition to consistent meetings, there should always be consistent conversations/encouragement/relationship among the members.

Trait #4 – Code Words

Let’s face it, no one would feel comfortable with their accountability partner coming up to them and in the midst of the conversation ask, “So how’s your struggle with pornography going this week?”  Um yeah, just thinking about that kind of a situation sends most men into shut down mode.  One group I was a part of had the brilliant idea to come up with code words that only we knew.  One of the members in my group had the code word peeps.  So I’d occasionally text him and ask, “How’s the peeps doing?”  We’d have conversations among a group of people using our commonly used code words and be able to check each other on accountability, without anyone else knowing what was truly going on.  One guy’s wife asked him why everyone always asked him about his peeps?  Of course the guy shrugged it off, and we all got a good laugh about it.  Let’s face it, we’re all still five year old boys at heart and who doesn’t relish the idea of using code words as a spy?

Trait#5- Covenant

In biblical times, to go into covenant, or contract, with someone was pretty serious.  Unfortunately, in today’s realm, a lot of that has been diminished.   I would encourage you to talk to your group and devise a brief contract or covenant that everyone signs embracing the traits above.  This way, everyone is bound and everyone knows the rules of the group.  This is the one trait that is optional.

Hopefully, this has given you some ideas on what to look for in a group, or if you’re in a group, how to take it to the next level.  I encourage you to find a group of guys, open up, pray together and always, always, take care of the peeps in the group!
In the next post, we talk about what you should expect out of an accountability group.
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About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

Thinking back to our image of the Christian Warrior, 300 style, there is a difference in the mentality of men.  Those in the 300 were close on many levels.  Why was that?  Their life depended on it.

In previous posts like “The Traits of the Christian Warrior“, “Christian Sword Series” and others, we talked about the lessons we could learn from the Spartan 300.  They were a fighting unit like no other.  One of their most notable traits was their strategy of never fighting alone.  Each Spartan would guard the back of their partner and the other would do the same.  What happened to this?  Look how successful the Spartans were and how long their legacy lived on.  What legacy are we leaving?  If we don’t change anything, we’re telling our sons to expect to be alone and to just learn to deal with it.  Yeah, not so much.

Jesus had disciples and when he ascended into heaven, these disciples began traveling together spreading the Gospel.  Paul spent most of his Christian life in relationship with other Christian men, living life on life.  The books to Timothy show Paul’s dedications to not being alone.  In one of his letters toward the end of his life, he asks Timothy to bring his favorite cloak.  You cannot tell me he and Timothy were not close, thus, he helped to set the stage for what Christian men need to get back to today.

So what is an accountability group?  Simply stated, it is a group of Christian men who get together to not only go through a bible study, but more importantly, take some time living life on life.  Questions like, how’s the job going?  What is going on in your marriage?  How is your struggle with _____?  These are the most important aspect of any Christian men’s group.  I believe too many times, leaders of such groups spend more time on bible study than they do actually discipling.  This is an art, an art we could look to Jesus to help us understand.

When going through the Gospels, we see Jesus actively seeking out disciples which was unheard of in his time as a rabbi, which is what many saw him as.  Once they were in the fold, Jesus spent a lot of time with these guys living.  They traveled together, ate together, went through trials together, and also ministered together.  It was this life on life, daily discipling curriculum Christ used to prepare his disciples to go on in his absence.  Along with the Holy Spirit, these men were able to continue doing what Christ had done with them with other men.  We have got to get back to this model.

In the next post, we talk about what you should expect out of an accountability group.

What to look for in an accountability group. 
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About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

I was thinking about the deliverance of Israel from Egypt the other day and was struck with a pretty tough question.  Am I more like Moses or the Pharaoh in the story?   Let me explain what I mean.

So, I was thinking about the Pharaoh and the passage referring to his hardened heart.  I began wondering to myself why he just didn’t let the Israelites go, what was he so afraid to let go of?  Then it occurred to me, I’m more like him than I care to admit.

Have you ever found yourself locked in on something like an iPad or car?  Even further, have you found yourself in a habitual sin because you have married yourself to another god rather than the real God?  If so, you might want to consider you are more like the Pharaoh.

Researchers who were studying some monkeys in their habitat put a plexi glass box with fruit in it within the monkey’s community.  There was a hole cut into the box that would allow the monkey’s hand to get into it, but not pull out the fruit.  If the monkey tried holding onto the fruit and pull their hands out, they would find themselves unable to do both.  The ultimate choice was to let go of the fruit and be free or continue to try to pull out the fruit to no avail.  Throughout the study, they found more often than not, the monkey could not bear to let go of their prized fruit.  You know, we all struggle with the same.

Pharaoh had an enormous internal struggle.  At the time, Pharaoh’s were worshiped as gods in their realm.  See God posed a threat to the identity held by Pharaoh, thus a portion of his power throughout the land.  If Pharaoh readily submitted to the call to “Let my people go,”  he would be admitting he was not God and that there was someone higher, with more authority than he had.  As you can imagine, this not only caused a major issue with his psyche, but it also created some pretty tough political ramifications as well.  In a sense, in order to keep his iron grip (or the grip on his fruit), he could not relent and submit to the Most High God.

As God normally does with all of us, he sent ten plagues, or as I like to see them, wake up calls.  Each of the plagues struck at various “gods” within the Egyptian culture, ultimately bringing the Pharaoh to his knees when he lost his first born.  At times, Christ will allow various trials within life to draw us closer to him to see him for who He truly is, the Most High God.  He does not play second to any of our lesser gods like money, pride, vanity, status, etc.  Instead, for those who believe in Him and lose their way, as a loving Father would, he chastens them to come back to him.    In the case of the Pharaoh, he was of course a nonbeliever, but I truly believe God used his hardened heart to teach all of us about the potential for our hearts to be given to some other god.

So, will it take ten plagues for you to let go of whatever is in that metaphoric plexi glass box in your life?  If not, you might want to brace yourself for the loving actions of your heavenly father.  Some call them plagues, others call them signs of a relentless God who will stop at nothing to manifest Himself to those who will believe.
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About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

I just completed reading this book and have to say it is one of the best books on Christian Men and Men’s Ministry.  I read it in about five hours because I could not put it down!

This book is written by the same author of Man in the Mirror (http://www.maninthemirror.org) and builds upon 7 Primal Principles of the man’s soul.  They are as follows:

1. To believe, really belive, that God knows, loves, and cares about me personally.

2. To believe my life has a divine purpose.

3. To break free from the destructive behaviors that keep dragging me down.

4. To satisfy my soul’s thirst for transcendence, awe, and communion with Christ.

5. To love and be loved without reservation.

6. To make a contribution and leave a legacy.

7. To feel and know I am not in this alone.

As one who feels particular called to the discipleship of men, this book was awesome and extremely relevant.  It isn’t one of those self-help books, but more of an eye-opening manual on how to become more “alive” as a Christian Man.  He addresses the tendency of men to lose heart, go silent, and anesthetize their pain through seclusion.  Many of us know how often men make the decision to follow Christ, but are then left to the wolf because no one disciples them.  If you think about it, discipleship was the first thing on the mind of Christ when He rose.  What did he do first?  Go after his disciples and reinforce the Gospel.  We should do the same.

Here are some scary stats on Christian Men shared in the book:

• 80% are so emotionally impaired they’re unable to express or even identify their feelings
• 55% of marriages experience financial dishonesty, mostly by the husband
• 50% of men who attend church still seek out pornography
• 40% get divorced affecting over 1 million children a year

I was on the floor when I saw these.  No wonder we have such a void in the church today of Christian Men, real Christian Men.  If you’re in ministry or in a men’s group or simply feel called by Christ to start something, I would highly encourage you to read this book!  Great read and very applicable.

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About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

Let’s be real, it’s hard being a man, much less a Christian man.  With the world of our jobs, our families, the battles we all face internally, trying to push through can be quite overwhelming.  The “I’ll do that tomorrow” is always one of the last thoughts seeping through our mind before we slip off to sleep.  We don’t intend to be lazy, but one thing about laziness is that it sometimes just happens.

For starters, in 2011, I fell off the wagon.  Looking back, I think I only posted five or six articles the whole year.  I know that may not seem like a huge act of laziness, but to be honest, it was a symptom of a larger problem.  I got buried in my job and projects, and… well, is there really a good excuse.  The truth is, if I’m posting regularly, it usually means that I am having to do some research or preparation prior to.  Most of the research or inspiration for these posts come from what God is doing in my own heart through my own time with Him.  Sad to say, last year, I just got lazy.  I fell into the trap.

Romans 12:11 – Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord.

What is zeal?  It can be defined many ways, all of which most of us fall short.  Staying in the Word helps keep this fervor alive and moving, but we let so many things get in the way.  It’s all too easy to let our schedules take over and not tithe our time.

So how do we guard against this enemy?  Here are a couple of thoughts:

1. Admit it is there.  As with the other enemies behind the line, you have to admit there is a problem or an area of concern before you can start allowing Christ to work on you.  Also, there is some freedom in admitting you have been lazy and not taken the necessary focus off of you and placed it on Christ and HIS will.

2. Tithe your time.  Once you battle the issue of tithing your money and remembering you are merely a steward of what Christ gives you, the next battle is remembering to tithe your time.  It doesn’t have to be first thing in the morning, but if that works for you go for it.  You’ll find it is like working out physically, once you get into it, you will find yourself somewhat addicted and needing this time with Christ.

3. Pray with your family.  As if #2 wasn’t hard enough, this one is the bigger obstacle.  My family and I started this as preparation for Christmas doing the Countdown to Christmas Plan.   What we found was the kids really enjoyed it and we all did something many families don’t do anymore… talk.  I mean really talk.  We got to hear our kids’ fears, questions, help them understand things we just assumed they would know about the Bible.  It really got to be an amazing time.  One of the great things about doing this, is it reminds you of your role in the family and helps you be reminded that Christ calls us to love our wife and children.  How better to love them than to pray with them, lead them in a study.  More importantly, turning off the TV and whatever other “noise” to just be with family is a major win in today’s world.   How does this help laziness?  Have you ever tried telling a child, “No I just don’t feel like doing our bible study tonight?”  Um yeah, if you can get that phrase out of your mouth, there are bigger problems at hand.  Once you get into it, you will be blessed by what Christ does with the time.  Perhaps the most moving part every night for me as a man, husband, and dad was to hear my children praying.  I found it helps me remember why Christ said we have to be like children.

Hope this helps you at least take a look at where the enemy is hiding.  If you’re doing that, chances are, you’ll find the ninja soon enough!  Now, get off the computer and go spend some time in God’s word first by yourself, and then share it with your family.  Looking to a better, more disciplined 2012.
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About the Writer:

Trent Cotton has spent a number of years in management and business consulting. After spending some time in the field, he joined the HR department, beginning in recruiting and eventually serving as the Department Head of HR for one of the major lines of business. With such a varied background, he works to bring all of these together to help churches and other Christian organizations incorporate some common business practices into their ministries to enable them to better serve the Kingdom. In his free time, he also writes a lot on Church Development as a Church Consultant.

As a husband and father of three, Trent Cotton has a passion surrounding the role Christian Men are to play in their families, communities, churches and businesses.  This particular blog is dedicated to helping men take back the role that we have lost in society.

It is an easy read and I would encourage anyone looking for some great stories of ordinary men being used for God’s plan to read this book.

I would have to agree with other editorals that state, “I have read and reviewed literally hundreds of self-help books. Most have similar common themes, as does Phil Cooke’s JOLT!. Going through the phases of being able to accept yourself for who you are and looking inside to determine what your gift or passion is. The book discusses going over goals, how to prioritize personal events and how you operate at work. Many books go into the moral purpose of the individual along with their true faith, as does Cooke.”

If you’re looking for an easy read, I would suggest it, however, if you’re looking for something mind shattering, I would not recommend this book.